Handicapped Olicity
by EatMyDust95
Summary: Oliver tries to enlist Felicity's help with undoing one of his most recent fiascos. Felicity, however, wants nothing to do with him.
1. Socially Handicapped

Felicity sighed as she pulled her pen out of her mouth and stared at the crumpled tip in frustration. This was the fourth pen she'd ruined today alone, and it wasn't even lunchtime yet. Felicity groaned as she let her head fall onto the desk. School was stupid. Felicity couldn't help but compare her university to highway robbers. Wasting time? Check. Stealing a life's worth of savings? Check. Black balaclavas? Felicity glanced at Doctor Ramoray's facial hair and cringed. Sure everyone had bad hair days, but her Algorithms professor seemed to have an afro growing on the lower half of his face. In fact, she noted, if she squeezed her eyes just right and didn't focus, his beard looked oddly like Texas.

Half an hour later, Sarah plopped into a seat next to Felicity in the food court.

"You look like shit." The words tumbled out. "I mean not like shit, because that's kind of gross, and well you wouldn't have arms and legs so you would sort of be sliding off the chair, and wouldn't be able to eat … that. What IS that anyways? Because that actually does look like shit …" Felicity snapped her mouth shut, finally noticing Sarah's glare.

"I ended things with Oliver" Sarah whispered, her pride not allowing her to say the words any louder. Felicity had never met Oliver, but he was notorious in the girls' lunch conversation. Sleeping with Sarah, while being in a relationship with her sister Laurel caused Felicity to disapprove of him. But she knew that what Sarah needed now was not a triumphant I-told-you-so, but someone to vent to about the evils of all men.

"What did he do?" Felicity worked to make her voice sound sympathetic, though she was happy her friend was finally putting some distance between her and her sister's boyfriend.

"Nothing. He refuses to break up with Laurel. Us Lance girls are special, no one man deserves more than one of us at once" Sarah tried to lighten the mood. Felicity smiled, and changed the topic to 's interesting facial hair.

Oliver Queen slumped into a chair across from his lawyer. Seeing the scowl on Walter Steele's face, Oliver knew he was going to be in a lot of trouble, but looking to his right, he couldn't help but smirk. If we was going down, he was happy he was taking Tommy Merlyn with him.

"Mr. Queen," Walter began in his posh, British accent, "I do hope that by now you are aware of the video circulating the internet" He waited for a nod before going on, "What were you thinking? The young man obviously had Tourette's. You cannot make fun of people who are sick for being sick. You could be sued. Your father's company could lose a large sum of its funding. We do not know whether the invertors' families are all healthy. They may take offense to your discrimination and decide to drop the project. Do you understand the magnitude of this issue?"

"Don't look at me, man. Tommy's the one that pushed him out of his seat."

"Hey bro," Tommy defended, "I was only trying to get to that redhead. He should have moved when I said excuse me."

Walter pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on. But he couldn't have that tonight. Tonight was his wife's birthday. He had to get away from the immature boys before he got to a point where he would have to cancel on his wife.

"You boys need to find a way to get that video offline. Oliver, you're the one that shows up in the tabloids. You have got to do something to make yourself look nice. Go to a charity. Play with some kids at the park." He held up a hand to stop any oncoming arguments. "Either you boys fix this, or I'm going to make sure your assets are frozen" Having stunned the boys into silence, Walter hurried out of the conference room to grab a few Advil's before the boys regained control of their mouths.

Felicity was sitting in her favourite pizzeria, working on one of her many side jobs. She had just debugged one of her programs and was about to run it when a tall, handsome man slid into the booth across from her. A blue-eyed blonde in a fancy suit, Felicity just knew her words wouldn't be coming out the way she intended them to. She settled for just giving him a quizzical look.

"Felicity Smoak?" a nod, "I'm Oliver Queen. I see you've heard of me." Felicity couldn't help the scowl that crossed her face when she heard his name. Who hadn't heard of Oliver Queen? Billionaire playboy. Womanizer. Frequent tenant at the local jailhouse. She wanted nothing to do with man, and began to gather her things. Seemingly alarmed, Oliver raised his hands in an effort to calm her. "Hear me out. Sarah told me about you back when we were still …" He trailed off, not knowing how to finish the statement without making himself look like a jerk. "Anyways, I looked you up on Facebook. I need your help."

"I – you – it – Sarah – NO!" Felicity stuttered. This man had been sleeping with his girlfriend's sister, and who knows how many other women. He didn't look upset about the end of his relationship with Sarah and judging by his cologne, Felicity couldn't help but think that Sarah wasn't the only one.

"May I?" Oliver didn't even pause as he turned her laptop towards himself, Felicity's startled "hey' doing nothing to deter him. He quickly opened the offensive video on YouTube and turned her laptop back around, hitting play. Felicity was just about to close the window in contempt, when the scene caught her eye. Her glare grew harder and harder, until at last, by the time the video had ended, Oliver was tempted to check himself for laser holes.

"How could you do that to the poor boy?" She finally burst, "He has Tourette's"

"I know" Oliver started. He explained the conversation he had had with Walter earlier that morning. "That's why I need you to help me. I want you to take down the video, and I want us to be friends. Publically. I think it's going to help my image." He hadn't even finished speaking as Felicity shook her head, gathered her things, and rolled away in her wheelchair.


	2. Financially Handicapped

Felicity was at the pizzeria again. She couldn't get Oliver Queen out of her mind. She hated men like him. Men that were rich and handsome, but had trashy personalities. Its such a waste of wealth, such a waste of such a perfect body. Over the past couple of weeks, Oliver had popped by Felicity' classes, her internship at Microsoft, her night shifts at the library, and everywhere in between. If she didn't know any better, she'd be convinced the man was quite literally stalking her. When she finally mustered up the courage to mention he-who-must-not-be-named to Sara, she was surprised to learn that Sara had met the Queens and adored them all - despite Oliver being Oliver. Felicity was confused. On the one hand, she felt that Oliver deserved all the backlash he was getting from the video. However, hearing Sara talk about Robert Queen, she couldn't help but feel bad for the man for getting caught in the crosshairs of his idiot son's antics. Felicity angrily picked at pizza roll. What a dilemma?

"Hey! If you're not going to eat those, at least try not to mutilate them too much" Oliver slid into the booth across from her. Seeing the man sitting across from her in another $3000 suit, she couldn't help the sense of déjà vu she got. She knew they were going to talk about the video again. But this time she had a plan. She decided to help take down the video – But for the whole Queen family's sake, not just for this man. And this man, Felicity promised herself, would pay dearly.

"You're like a cockroach, aren't you? Just can't seem to take a hint. With cockroaches people try to kill them, with you they try to ditch you. Wow, I guess cockroaches really are a more extreme version of you. This would actually be hilarious if you were hiding extra arms and maybe some antennas in that suit. Oh shoot, that sounds like I'm curious about what's under the suit, but deflate that ego, because I swear I'm not. Its – Just – I – You know what? Your devil's horns are like the cockroaches' antennae. Simile fully explained now …" Felicity snapped her mouth shut, chastising herself for even opening it in the first place. Now she'd gone and lost that cool, calm exterior that was supposed to give her the upper hand in this conversation.

"You wouldn't be the first girl to want to know what's under this suit." Oliver smirked, "In fact, why don't we go back to my place so I can show – OW! Did you just throw a spoon at me? What are you? Five?"

"Why are you here, Oliver? Get to the point?" Felicity sighed. She was doing that a lot lately. But now she was about to take back her upper hand. Oliver was going to ask for her help, and she'd be the one in charge again. She could feel the edges of her lips turning upwards and struggled to keep her mouth in a straight line.

"Okay you're smirking" He pointed out, "You obviously know why I'm here … Are you really going to make me ask again? I've been practically begging you for the past 2 weeks." He paused, waiting for a response. When none came he continued, albeit not as confidently as before. "Could you please take down the video and help me undo this mess?"

"Hmm" Felicity considered drawing out her response but decided she'd tortured the man enough. "Alright", she conceded. "But there are going to be a few conditions. One, you're going to post a public apology saying that the video was a misunderstanding. Two, you're going to go out of your way to be nicer to disabled people. Help an old lady cross a street; Read to a blind man; Help a dyslexic child with his homework; Help transport people who have trouble getting around on their own. Literally any Good Samaritan act that can be caught on camera and will help your image. Three, don't try to hit on anyone in front me. Honestly that grosses me out. OH! And if I'm with Sara, that doesn't mean you can come up us and start bothering her. She would literally kill me. And then I would come back and haunt you. Because really, it would be your fault that she killed me. Got all of that?"

"Wow, you need my signature on all of that or something?" Oliver chuckled

"I'm not done yet. Four, stop trying to joke with me. I despise you. I am only doing this for your family and Queen Consolidated. We are only going to talk for this issue and about this issue. Nothing less – well actually less would be wonderful – but nothing more. Not only are you reckless, irresponsible and disrespectful to women in general, you've also screwed up the Lance family and publically insulted anyone with a disability, which, in case you haven't noticed, includes me. I'm in a freaking wheelchair. Or have you not noticed since you have yet to actually apologize to me for the video. I'm not trying to be pretentious. But really Oliver, it's the elephant in the room and it's starting to squash me." Realizing she was creating a scene, Felicity settled for one last glare as she rolled away. It wasn't until she had left the pizzeria that she realized she'd left Oliver with her bill.

Oliver sat frozen in his seat at the pizzeria. On one hand he was ecstatic that Felicity was willing to finally help him. However some of what she said had actually gotten to him. Was he really that irresponsible and disrespectful? Did he really need to apologize to Felicity for the video? He grabbed his phone and pulled up the video on YouTube. In it, Oliver and Tommy were seen walking up to a teenage boy who was talking to a girl his own age. The men had overheard the boy stuttering a few tables down and, having had a few drinks, walked up to the boy to have some fun. They had begun by simply taunting the boy, repeating what he was saying to make him nervous, asking him questions, generally trying to fluster him. But the boy had some pride and when he tried to stand up for himself, Oliver made a comment about disabled people being a burden on society. Oliver paused the video. Surely this wasn't as bad as it seemed. He was clearly kidding around. Felicity was just over reacting.

However, he needed Felicity's help. This video scandal was getting him disgusted looks from many hot girls; His father and his family were also very upset with him. He would definitely prefer more choices over dinner than an awkward silence or talks about how his selfishness was ruining the family legacy. Oliver was grateful that Laurel hadn't seen the video. She would probably be more upset than Felicity was. Felicity being disappointed in him didn't mean much to Oliver. Sure, she was hot in a nerdy way, but she seemed to already hate him too much for anything to ever happen there. Laurel, however, would definitely cut him off. And while Oliver was not closed off to cheating on his girlfriend, he knew that anyone who didn't live under a rock was disgusted by him at the moment. Resigning himself to the fact that he would be making an apologetic video to replace the original, offensive one, Oliver stuffed a last pizza roll into his mouth and slid out of his booth. He would also have to apologize to Felicity the next time he saw her.

Oliver didn't realize that he still had to pay the bill until he heard a commotion and turned around to notice the waiter waving a receipt at him. Well. Just one more humiliation to add to the family name, Oliver thought wryly as he noticed all the people staring. His mother was definitely going to cry again tonight.


End file.
